I have a lot of guilt. I’ve done a lot of little bad things, and a few big bad things, but they all weigh on me. The importance of making amends now rather than anytime before is because I feel like I’m a bad person and not worthy of the man I am currently dating and in love with. Because of these past deeds I feel often unworthy and that if he ever knew the “real” me that he would no longer love me. Therefore, to fully be able to allow myself to let him love me and vice versa, I must love myself, and forgive myself. Then, when he finds out I did this or that, then I can simply say, “that was the past.”
For example, he already knows about my DUI that I had 6 years ago this June. I explained to him the situation, I told the tale of who I was at the time, and then I told him that I haven’t done anything like that since (or before). I don’t even really drink now. This is why I am okay about my really stupid decision I made when I was 22. Because I was 22, stupid, and have learned from it. And he agreed. It didn’t matter. He loves me.
Time to fix all the other bad stuff and get on with the good stuff! I will do this!
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